Building layers of madness-notes from an easel work in progress by David Van Gough

One more pass-I keep telling myself-and this one will be done. I down my brushes and toss palettes, then spend the rest of the evening pacing in and out of the studio to pick holes in it, fighting the urge to paint over it, or at least crack the bastard over my knee.
Who was it said a painting is never finished, merely abandoned? 

Its a kind of neurosis, I'd moot Van Gogh maddening except I'd be so lucky to be ailed by the kind of madness that has one knocking out five paintings before breakfast.
In a nightmarish purgatory somewhere, I work the same painting for a lifetime, the canvas caked ten foot thick with layers.
Quite aptly it'll be titled 'Misery acquaints man with strange bedfellows' when its done. 
This particular bedfellow gives me no rest.

Conspiracy fever

Amongst the works in progress, I'm realizing there's a very real path to madness in conspiracy. You begin to seek spurious connections and make irrational equations in everything.

Implausibity suddenly becomes possibility....the paranoia of numerology,a website that is a predictor to doomsday, the Illuminati, David-fucking-Icke. Its like a piss poor episode of the X Files-the ones after Mulder and Skully left.

And yet with the quagmire surrounding the Manson case, how can one damn so much such staggering coincidence?

Or are the elements merely the colliding threads of cosmic architecture, a sinister undercurrent with no purpose?

I walk this path daily, and I realise its not healthy, but eight to ten hours amongst the ravages of paintings,the unrelenting heat, the fumes and the shadow of Manson,will do that to you.

Speaking to a friend the other day about the series, I realized that wading through the mire of bullshit, is no different than setting a rationale for God-its like trying to fit chaos and happenstance into a divine plan for the a clandestine order of an omnipotent mind. 

What a great title actually, perhaps it should be the name of the final piece . I am just over half way, With just two weeks to complete another six pieces.

I remind myself theres enough insanity there.