I'm in a hermetic funk.
I know its a combination of the seasonal thing, homesickness (which is my fault) sickness (which isn't) and the inevitable post gig come down of imagining-or projecting-coincidences more significant than mere random happenstance, which is what they probably are. Still, I imagine a deity pissing himself with laughter around about now.
I need to make marks on canvas again, as well as just make my mark which is an old familiar mantra.
Here's another- at 42 I'm as rootless as ever, cradling a lifetime of pummeled ego and charred fingers, and back to noodling at the square that marks the realization that if I never spent another second in the soul destroying providence of graphic design, it would still come as a moment too soon. What a special breed of wanker that "fucking profession" procures.Woe Bejaysus as my old Irish nan would say.
Art and commerce, oil and water.
Speaking of oil....
I wish I could spend my days, lost in the pursuit of paint, all in the name of a greater journey-THAT greater journey.
In between design duties, I set the channel to Ovation teevee, and watch people like Mathew Collins, drool over some painted artifact-as I grumble at the succession of trust fund babies like Gauguin and Manet that he is toe curling over.
I wonder how anyone makes it in these franchised, disenfranchised times. How someone like me that is, and woe is me and the artist fucking lot, blah, bollocks, blah.
Shut up David!!
'Tis not a total exercise in navel gazing however, I've finally finished the first of eight illustrations for the Octavo (pictured) Peter (J Carrol) has an exceptional breadth of imagination, as multi faceted as my own. Matching his theories in 2d space however is another matter-or anti matter depending on seating arrangements. For the first piece, I settled into the transcendental ruminations of things like an illustrated book of the dead I recall renting from Norris Green library nearly 30 years ago, but since I cannot recall the author, I canny find it online.
Also in the Bombay mix-Esher,Goya and the movie Brainstorm starring Christopher Walken, and Natalie Wood, which I've not seen for almost as long as I rented that book, but my memory of it certainly adds flavor.
Nice segue David-Thanksgiving hangs as much of a pall as it does for the fattened turkeys eating ground offal, but fortunately I shall be ensconced in the North with my lovely wife at a location called Big Bear. I cannot wait to get out of San Diego for a few days and recharge-maybe a beard and a new life awaits me there.