Friday, October 15, 2010
Traveblog-Irrelevancy in Yosemite
I'm returned, though in what capacity I'm unsure.
I was unplugged, off the grid, out of my skull, roughing it in a tent and living off the fat of the land for a week.
That's not strictly true, there was no cultivating of crops going on since Lani and our co hostess-Lauren-who I like to refer to as; Amazonian, warrior woman due to her impressive stature and dexterity with a tomahawk, packed enough provisions for a small army.
Instead, I cultivated an understanding.
So, all the weight and ambition of the world, compacted and obliterated to irrelevancy when diminished by the spectacle of standing on a cliff and peering into the valley below.
All the pressures of trying to be relevant dissipating when peering into a bottomless night sky with a million lights emanating from a million years ago.
All the hollow questions lost to the burning embers of a woodfire, when with wine and women.
A time to re-evaluate, a time for perspective.
So spiritually rejuvenated, the shows are behind me, because I realize that if I stepped away from it all tomorrow just to exist, it would be more than enough meaning, if only because trying so hard to be someone means so little.
Like watching a kettle boil, the water doesn't heat any quicker if you will it.
The shows are up for another two weeks, whether I make a bean or end up with enough wood to make a pyre is immaterial at this point.
There are things that are so much more important than convincing people of ones worth through paint on a wall.
I'll continue in vein, but not in the same vein-I'll see the series to the bitter end, finish the book of 'Dead/Ends',but in the end I really couldn't say what will happen.